Wednesday, December 29, 2010

Seventy-Second Step - Worlds Colliding

Have you ever had your life experiences collide all at once, and feel like, "Ohhh, that's so right. This makes so much sense." Like, we're not God, but sometimes God connects the dots for us poor, clueless people? And you see this situation and that one and realize He is putting together your personality, trials, heart, even your struggles into a big lumpy mushy LUMP (looks messy to us, but He doesn't mind getting His hands dirty) but it is going to be something that makes sense sometime (hopefully soon)? Yeah, me neither.

Just kidding! I'm reading Love Mercy by Lisa Samson, and it makes her life experiences (and novels, which really have an obvious agenda without being too overbearing, usually) really make sense for me. I'm hoping that at some point my life will make enough sense to be able to read it in book form and I'll learn a whole lot about what meant what and who was who and what I did good and how I blew it but it all turned out OK in the end.

Maybe God will have a whole delightful room full of scrapbooks of your life, and then a novel (or even trilogy!) that puts it all together for you and narrates what was going on and your whole web of interconnected people that you impacted (or didn't, because of selfishness or laziness or cluelessness). Maybe just nerds like me will be interested in that kind of thing--could you transform it into a sci-fi/fantasy, please? Hmm, my life as a novel would require a little more excitement probably.

I'm not totally sure how God is connecting the dots. I'll fill you in more as more becomes clear. But it feels like a new season is starting. God's released me for more service, from a healing phase to more of a giving phase. God's calling our family to more, to family worship, to being content with our life together, and maybe farm and slowing down. There are scary things involved with that, and resistance to change. But I read a bumper sticker last week that hit me like a bolt of lightning: If nothing changes, nothing changes. Simple, right? But it has gone through my head all week. Including changing my heart. If I don't let him change that, there's no hope for a good novel. It will be a teen drama angst-filled horror story. And I swore those off at least 5 years ago.

p.s. Happy 4th birthday to my schnookie boy!! Can't believe his precious chubby cheeks are still around, even at 4 years (the facial ones). They are still so fun to munch on. Definitely talking about facial ones. Sometimes our kids seem so precious it hurts, like we have to squeeze them to hold onto the moment but we can't and it's gone and it hurts!! Like I know there are so many ways I don't cherish each moment with them and then the guilt comes in and the battle becomes about something else--"I'm a terrible, selfish mom" thoughts. "I need to play more" thoughts. And "How do we go through a whole day and not have focused on what matters?" thoughts. Anyone have those?? This is all too big for a p.s.

1 comment:

  1. re the P.S.: I often think of the words in the Bible about Mary holding "these things" in her heart. However did she do that. I purpose to seize them and remember - but they fly - like a breath - like dust blown away. Thank you God for eternity where the treasures are surely stored up for forever glorying in by our Savior's side.


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