Awaken

I've been looking back at 2010. I had made goals for 2011. The space between now and the goal is kind of a question mark though. I was never the type to be good at those kind of details! Just dream and hope and you're good to go. But then you look back at 2010 and it looks kinda like 2009. Like the bumper sticker I saw that slapped me upside the face, "If nothing changes, nothing changes." Oh, yeah (if you don't have a comma there, it sounds like Kool-aid man going, "Oh yeah!").

Awaken is my WORD for 2011. I've mentioned this.

And I've been reading this passage from Isaiah 52 like a madwoman:
"Awake, awake, clothe yourself in your strength, O Zion;
clothe yourself in your beautiful garments,
O Jerusalem, the holy city;
For the uncircumcised and the unclean
Will no longer come into you.
Shake yourself from the dust, rise up,
O captive Jerusalem;
Loose yourself from the chains around your neck,
O captive daughter of Zion."

We've written a song with those words in them. I've meditated on them almost everyday. But I am still not sure how God is doing this in my life. I don't see all this amazing evidence right in front of me. And despite trying to teach my kids to obey "all the way, right away, with a happy heart" (thank thee, Ginger Plowman!), my obedience still has a lot to be desired. Maybe that's part of the problem with my kids' obedience??? Hmph.

I am giving my testimony at Celebrate Recovery on Tuesday. It is a funny time to be doing it, because I don't feel this awesome sense of victory right now. It's almost like it will be a testimony on step one: surrender. "We admitted we were powerless over our addictions and compulsive behaviors, that our lives had become unmanageable." (Romans 7:18-"I know that nothing good lives in me, that is, in my sinful nature. For I have the desire to do what is good, but I cannot carry it out.")

Or Principle 1, which is what usually sticks in my head: Realize I’m not God; I admit that I am powerless to control my tendency to do the wrong thing and that my life is unmanageable. (Matthew 5:3-“Happy are those who know they are spiritually poor.”)

Either way, I hope people go away encouraged rather than discouraged, ha! I'll let y'all know how it goes.