|Watch out, mom--we can fight back! Don't mess.|
Friday, May 24, 2013
More On Anger
Hey, I have been pleasantly surprised by some new ways to think about how I talk to and treat my kids/family. I am not a screaming-all-the-time kind of mom. But I have my days where I do lose it, and even whole hormonal days of the month, and it's far from a good thing. The past two days, I have enjoyed deliberately keeping my voice calm and noticing when my blood starts to simmer (as in, catch it before it's boiling!). In this post at Orange Rhino, I loved reading how not being angry makes space and opportunities for lovely things like a child sharing his or her heart. When I "jump at" disobedience and assume all kinds of things, it can effectively "stomp out" my child's confiding in me, sharing with me, opening up to me. I have noticed that my kids do kind of breathe a collective sigh of relief when we are getting out the door in a reasonable, calm way, even if everything is not done perfectly, immediately and robotically like in my ideal mommy world. I would have been a good general of an army commando unit--go go go! Quickly boys! Get those boots on! (I don't have boys, only one boy not including my husband, but I've always wanted to say "C'mon, boys!" in a barking affectionate way. Maybe someday they'll have a little brother and I can nicely bark then). Anyway, I hope it encourages you that it is worth it to examine our behavior as moms, not just look at our kids' behavior under a microscope and dissect it. It's totally true--reason 3 not to yell--kids are people too.